Torpedo’d and Torpedo Grass

I’m feeling adventurous this morning.

“The earth is calling me, and I must go…go and dig.” ~ Shannon, DirtNKids Blog

But first, some flowers.  Ah.  So nice.  The pink periwinkle and red hibiscus greet me on the better half of our front walkway.  After a rainfall, the cenzio erupts into clumps of pink flowers above my entryway.  So happy and pleasing they are.  It may be time to trim the hedges while I’m at it.

Front walkway – the pretty side


Then there’s the other side.  It is plagued with torpedo grass, the most invasive grass species on my property, quite possibly the most invasive grass species known to man.  And all of this stuff must be removed before I can plant anything.

Front walkway – the other NOT-so-pretty side

Here.  Let’s have a closer look.

Torpedo Grass (10), Shannon (Big Fat ZERO)

This is no ordinary grass.  It cannot be killed with chemicals (yes, I’ve tried them all).  If one single trace of root or stolon is left in tact, a new plant will grow from it.  Think bermuda grass, only this stuff — and what you see here is only 3 week’s growth, un-whipped — is hip-high.  Nothing else can be planted until this stuff is gone.  My battle with torpedo grass is currently 5 years and counting.

The temperature is quite cool on the north (shade) side of the house, so once I press that “Publish” button on this post, I’m off with my shovel and boots and gloves to go get dirty (quite possibly my favorite thing in the world), the kids plugged in to the electronic babysitter.

I really want to be a winner today.  I have no idea why I’m tackling grass which has proven to be my nemesis.

The contest of my last post resulted in my being a loser.

Rachel and Kimberliah sunk my battleship.

Angie Z.’s Photo Poll

Thank you all for voting for me anyway.  I certainly do appreciate each and every one of you taking the time to put in your vote!

Hey!  I guess there’s an upside.

For once, I got out-dorked by someone else.

12 thoughts on “Torpedo’d and Torpedo Grass

  1. Darnit all — torpedo grass AND Dynomite! contest loss. I don’t know if it’ll make you feel better but I see from my stat referrals that your readers really did come out to support you and your sweet-ass mushroom head. And I decided not to have a final round and am declaring Rachel the winner. (Sorry, Kim.) So you didn’t really miss out on a round two. I believe I only vowed to advance two to a final round if the competition was close. It really wasn’t in terms of first place. But you and Kim were indeed neck-and-neck for second place.

    Now that grease monkey picture of you in the VW? That has real potential of being a big winner next time.


      1. I’ve had that issue before with tagging. I don’t know that I even check anymore as to whether they’re appearing among the topic tags. Maybe this is a good topic for the WordPress users group?

        My next contest, when I return from my blog break, will be the Dynomite! family addition. I so far have three really great family portraits that have been submitted. You’re always welcome to send something my way. 😉

        That VW bug photo will be a prime contender for a future competition!


    1. No more bummed than I was. If I had had just two, maybe three, more votes, I’da cinched it. I lost my non-blog folks at “increasing traffic without search engines.” It took explaining on the phone the differences between WP and FB — there are so many — to get one friend and his wife to vote.


    2. The heat would kill you, Darla. The reason the grass grows so well is because it’s watered with a 95% daily humidity reading. I grew up in it — kinda like the Brer Rabbit — so the “tropics” suit me fine. But my hair is always stringy and straight, and I refuse to wear make-up or pantyhose.

      Torpedo grass is extraordinary stuff. If I can choose an organism to come back as in the afterlife, it’d be torpedo grass. Immortality guaranteed.


  2. Wow! I just googled torpedo grass. I had never heard of it. There are several websites that offer ways to control, but not very encouraging for permanent kills. As a thought, do you have St. Augustine’s grass in your area. I do know that if you have a St. Augustine lawn that is lush and healthy, nothing can grow through that. Of course, that would be of no help in flower beds. I don’t think there is a problem with torpedo grass here in San Angelo. At least, I had never heard about any. My deepest sympathies to you, Shannon. 🙂


    1. I hung up my shovel and put away my boots. A cold shower behind me, I’m left to face my newest defeat: Torpedo grass (11), Shannon (Still a Big Fat Zero)

      But…I don’t give up easily. I WILL beat this grass.

      St. Augustine, in its usual fashion, choked out any trace of it in my lawn, but it is still there…alive, dormant, waiting for its opportunity to erupt again. There were a couple of plants that were a complete shovel-depth down — 6-ft-long stolon and 3-ft-long stems. It’s some wicked stuff, Bob! I need to take another picture.


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